View From Table 9

April 4, 2007

My friend has Cancer…

Filed under: Uncategorized — table9 @ 11:15 pm

and for once, or maybe at last, I’m finding myself stunned into action.

A little background: My mom had DCIS, as did her mom before her. Both had mastectomies, both had clean lymph nodes, both survived their cancer. I’ve also got ‘very dense breast material’ – i.e. easy for cancer to hide in. So, you’d think with my genetics and experience, I’d be Ms. Mammogram 2007, right?

Except, I’m quite terrified of it to the point I’ve never ever had one. Terrified not of the procedure, though everyone bitches about the plates and the squishing. Heck, I’ve had all kinds of infertility stuff, and you don’t know pain until you’ve gotten your clock cleaned by a frozen hockey puck.

No, I’m scared of what could be.

So, I’ve avoided. Ignored the lovely little cards my health insurance carrier sends me. Not gotten a GYN since we moved 2 years ago. Done my self exams on a semi regular basis and figured since both Mom and Mom-Mom had their CA post-menopausal I’ve got 20 more years.

Until this week. My dear friend and writing muse has cancer. She’s that person I swear writes what I wanted to. It’s amazing, really. She’s also not asked me yet for information, and for that I can’t even begin to say how grateful I am. Because I don’t want to be analytical and statistical and factual for her. I don’t want to be a source of terrible truth. I just want to be for her, that’s all. That she’s letting me, even for now, is wonderful.

Maybe it’s because I can’t dissect her case, maybe it’s because I don’t have to be terrible, maybe it’s none of this… Now I’m feeling ready for my mammogram, and will even insist on an ultrasound because of my ‘very dense breast material’. So, tomorrow, I call.

More later.

1 Comment »

  1. Just found your blog, Regina. All I can say is thank you for being there for me.

    Get ready to get peppered with questions once the MRI results and follow-up oncologist consult later this week 🙂

    Comment by plareb — April 15, 2007 @ 3:35 pm | Reply

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